By JIMMY D / Sill-aries = silly NHL salaries in free agency | Jimmy's archive

Jimmy D was clicking the refresh button on his preferred NHL Free Agency Tracker page last week watching the absurb deals go down. Multimillionaires were being created just about every click of the mouse.

Then there was the $10-million-a-year rumour out of Vancouver for Mats Sundin. But one stuck out amid all the excess.

Atlanta signs UFA defenceman Ron Hainsey for five years and $22.5 million. Jimmy D rubbed his eyes and clicked refresh again expecting the number to change to the real salary. Click. Click. Click.

Nope, the Habs castoff who has evolved into a serviceable NHL blueliner in Columbus gets nearly $5 million a year from a Thrasher organization that had been rebuffed by Brian Campbell (they offered more money than the Blackhawks who secured him).

Jimmy marched upstairs, grabbed 12-year-old Jimmy jr. and eight-year-old Little Jimmy each by the ear and led them out to the hockey net.

“Don’t come back in until you shoot 500 pucks each! Millions of dollars are at stake. Now get movin’!” This was hyperbole, Jimmy did not actually yank his son’s ear, please do not alert the authorities.

Glad we endured the lockout to rein in salaries in the NHL and keep them sensible. This is a league that still has no TV contract and generates all revenue from game and tickets and some cable.

Yup, all you dads out there should have your little Johnnys (or Jimmys) skating backwards like crazy to cash in on these blueline sill-aries – Jimmy’s moniker for silly salaries.

Bryce Salvador. Fans may know his name, although fantasy junkies probably never have.
Contract? Four years, $11.6 million in New Jersey

Jeff Finger. Not quite 100 games under his belt, useful last season in Denver.
Contract? Four years, $14 million in Toronto. (Hope they gave him a no-trade clause which they hand out like Smarties in Toronto).

Brad Stuart. He got on your fantasy radar after getting icetime with the Red Wings this playoff season after a stop-and-start career.
Contract? Four years, $15 million in Detroit.

Mark Streit. Power-play pig in Montreal, took the money and ran – fast – to Long Island.
Contract? Five years, $21 million with Islanders.

Brooks Orpik. Hard worker, hard hitter, earned meal ticket as stay-at-home partner to roving Sergei Gonchar.
Contract? Six years, $22.5 million to stay in Pitt.

Mike Commodore. Known for some big hits and bigger red hair, not much else.
Contract? Five years, $18.75 million in Columbus.

Mark Eaton. Bad, light-weight defenceman.
Contract? Two years, $4 million in Pittsburgh.

Yup, it’s a great time to be a pro athlete.

All-Star Break in Baseball

Lance Berkman. Ian Kinsler. Josh Hamilton. Dan Uggla. Adrian Gonzalez.

Hands up everyone who predicted this group would comprise half of the Top 10 of all fantasy baseball players at the half-way point of the season? That’s what we thought.

 That’s what the stats say according to standard Yahoo! league formats that reward the traditional categories.

Gonzalez. 22 HRs and 70 RBI for the Padres.
Berkman. Same numbers + .349 average in Houston.
Uggla. 23 HRs (all after Jimmy ditched his slumping butt in April, great move Jimmy!)
Hamilton. Amazing story, 19 HRs and 20 more RBIs than anyone else in the AL.
Kinsler. What the hell? Basically duplicated his decent 2007 full-season output already for the Rangers. On pace for nearly 50 stolen bases to go with power and average. Jimmy is in love.

Jimmy D

jpoole@herald.ca