By JIMMY D / Church bells, Samkon Gado and Tiger trades | Jimmy's archive
Jimmy is not out there running around trying to save the world.
Hell, he has been known to publicly mock global warming, bird flu epidemics and other looming threats to mankind as we known it (like a Johan Santana trade to Boston, for example).
But when Jimmy has a vision, a revelation of something so meaningful and profound that it can help the world, he is naturally compelled and duty-bound to pass it along to his fantasy flock.
And here it is – church bells.
We need more church bells.
Not summoning folks to church, because Jimmy is no big fan of religion, but just for the comforting resonance of a freshly struck bell. Not sure what it is, but something soothing in the sound that puts people at ease. Mr. Bush should take a bunch of them to Iraq and see if it works.
Fantasy relevance, you ask? Hmm. Brendan Bell was sent to the minors by Phoenix Sunday, Mark Bell is on pace to match his pauperish 21 points of last season and there are two Marcus Bells in the NFL.
Samkon Gado
Most of you have never heard of Samkon Gado, other than for the fact that his name is an anagram for Soak Man God, Oak Mans God, A Mask Dog On and A Sad Go Monk.
But there he was Sunday running for a pair of touchdowns and generating some Top 10 running back fantasy value for the Dolphins. It took injuries to every other Miami runner to get him to this spot after bouncing from Green Bay to Houston back to Green Bay and back to Houston.
He doubled his season TD total in the loss to the Bills that dropped Miami to 0-13. Note to Patriot fans in Week 15 – beware Gado!
In case you were wondering, there no known anagrams for ‘Jimmy D,’ but there are a few for Jimmy D. Poole such as:
Dope Jimmy Lo, Poodle Jimmy, Mild Poem Joy and Looped Jimmy.
And there are a bunch of variations on ‘dope,’ ‘plod,’ ‘dim,’ ‘old,’ ‘limp’ (real flattering for the guy going through mid-life crisis) and the somewhat confusing ‘joy mop.’
Raven lunatics
Kudos to everyone who believed the Ravens – squabbling internally with defensive yapping at offensive players and head coach Brian Billick – would fall apart after choking away the Patriots game.
In their Sunday night game at home to Indy, the Ray Lewis-led defense looked like it was on strike. Three minutes into the second quarter, it was 30-0 and Joseph Addai had already surpassed almost every fantasy running back on the day in fantasy production.
Among the other Sunday non-surprises were the four-TD performance by Tom Brady and the predictable rout of Pittsburgh as well as the three-TD performance by Kurt Warner. What made this vintage Warner and vintage Arizona Cardinals was the five interceptions that went along with it.
Among the surprises (along with Gado) was Buffalo rookie Trent Edwards’ four-TD performance. Edwards (anagrams include Draws Red Tent, Warts Trended, Rats Dent Drew), completed only 11 passes, but four went for scores.
Tiger stripes
Plan now to grab Detroit Tigers and a lot of them in your March baseball drafts. After trading six prospects to perpetually rebuilding (some argue they are not even trying) Florida for 3B Miguel Cabrera and LHP Dontrelle (D-Train) Willis.
The trade, which sends possibly baseball’s top outfield prospect in Cameron Maybin to Miami (Maybin is almost an anagram for Miami), adds even more torque to batting order engine in the Motor City. Cabrera, he of the big bat and increasingly big belly, should have a monster year with more base runners ahead of him and more big bats behind him.
Cabrera has packed 75 pounds on his frame in four seasons and will be 400 pounds by 2015 if he keeps going at that rate. At least in the AL, he could still DH.
Willis, who has been wildly erratic in recent years, should get lots of run support, something he seldom enjoyed pitching for the Marlins.
Get busy, get lucky (anagrams Buck Egg Yet Lusty, Buggy Cutlet Keys, Bugle Cyst Key Tug or Bet Yucky Get Slug).
No anagrams next week, just the annual candy gram known as ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas, Jimmy-style.
Jimmy D |
