By JIMMY D / Pence stench, ugly Uggla on Jimmy MLB team | Jimmy's archive

Hands up everyone who predicted the AL division leaders after two weeks would be the Orioles, A’s and White Sox….Don’t feel bad, Jimmy didn’t get to raise his hand either.

And it shows in his early fantasy baseball showing.

There’s a fine line between clever and dumb and Jimmy has been on the wrong side of the line in most of his draft picks.

Carl Crawford isn’t stealing bases for the Rays because he can’t get on base, as his .208 average proves. A-Rod is stinking. Justin Morneau had two good games and 10 lousy ones and sits at .225

And every good slump has a few dumb sit-or-start decisions thrown in for good measure. Jimmy benched slumping Paul Konerko, who promptly wacked a slam off Detroit and finished with 5 RBIs. It raised his BA to a paltry .229.

Dan Uggla chipped in an 0-for-4 night to lower his BA to .191 in Florida and alleged emerging slugger Hunter Pence was benched Sunday after falling to .180 after 12 games with a single RBI. And to think Jimmy thought he was so clever getting him late in the draft. 

Only Seattle’s Raul Ibanez is saving Jimmy’s Jackals with a hot start and .327 average. And crazy Manny Ramirez is putting up typical Manny Ramirez numbers.

Jimmy trails in most pitching categories too as his nine-man staff has a grand total of three wins so far. Sunday could have been great with lefty fireballer Francisco Liriano making his first start in 19 months for the Twins and young Johnny Cueto (plucked off waivers last week in Cincy) firing.

But both got killed to go with lousy performances earlier in the week from Boston’s Clay Buchholz, Dodger Brad Penny and Tampa Bay’s James Shields.

So who is getting the job done? Check the waiver wires for some early surprises such as Nate McLouth and Xavier Nady, hitting a ton for the surprising Pirates.

In Yahoo!-style 5X5 formats, Arizona 3B Mark Reynolds ranked as the best fantasy player in the majors with a .320 average, five homers and 15 RBIs. Lance Berkman ranked second and McLouth was eighth (and available in many Yahoo! leagues).

Hanley Ramirez and Justin Upton – both hitting over .400 as of Sunday – were also in the Top 5 with Albert Pujols.

Looking for stolen bases? Michael Bourn in Houston and Joey Gathright of the Royals both have six and that’s with horrendous .190 and .214 batting averages. If they can ever get on base, they could help a lot in that category for you.

Playoff puck picks

Jimmy’s other main April undertaking in April has fared slightly better, meaning his NHL playoff picks weren’t nearly as dumb as his baseball ones.

Although looking at the 0-2 deficit facing the defending champions in Anaheim – Jimmy’s pick to defend their title starting with a six-game win over Dallas – he could be in trouble there too.

Boston’s OT win Sunday ruined Jimmy’s sweep call in that series, but his other predictions remained intact as of Sunday night.

On the player front, Evgeni Malkin has been unstoppable with six points in two games, but Mike Ribeiro with five? Stephane Robidas with four and Loui Eriksson with three? You’re killing me here.

Speaking of killing me, a two-part note to NHL refs. 1) Your work so far in the playoffs has been atrocious, most of you deserve misconducts and a wage clawback. 2) The next time you see Patrick Thoresen writhing on the ice in pain, don’t look the other way figuring he’s faking it.

I’ve never heard hardy Norwegians criticized for being softy sissies and this kid took a slapper in the groin, just about crushed his you-know-whats and the refs don’t blow the whistle. The Caps scored on the power play with poor Thoresen curled in the fetal position after blocking a shot. He spent the night in hospital.
Players must have a lot of you-know-what to block Mike Green slapshots and getting hit there is surely reason to stop the play.

Win cash, great prizes

It’s a contest where you can pocket $500 in cash and also qualify for random draws such as a Sidney Crosby autographed jersey, Saku Koivu autographed jersey and more. And it supports a terrific local cause helping children.
Sound good so far?

If you read the Sunday Herald, you read the column of a first-time marathoner attempting to run the Blue Nose event on May 18. He’s punishing himself over those 42 kilometers as a battle cry against cancer and to raise funds for a facility that will assist children living with chronic illness such as cancer.

Check it out and let’s get Jimmy Nation behind the contest. All the details are available at www.Gesso.ca/MarathonContest

Jimmy D
jpoole@herald.ca