By JIMMY D / Silly Sports & Pope betting | Jimmy's archive

Of course, Jimmy risks universal scorn and condemnation by calling this his “Christmas” mailbag instead of “holiday” mailbag, but we’re feeling jolly and believe we can safely deflect any controversy that arises.

Plus, half of my mailbag deals with controversial topics, so why not start the ball rolling by provoking the inclusionist-at-all-costs-ites and political correctionists. At least, we won’t have the kooky religious conservatives filling the in-box with Christmas (and only Christmas) messages.

And I figure, what better day than two days after Christmas to slip in some controversy, when many people won’t even be home to pick up the newspaper and read my heretical rantings.

With that, let’s get at it!

Jimmy,
I won my bet back in the summer that predicted Joseph Ratzinger would be chosen the new Pope and that he would choose Benedict as a name. With the recent controversy over the Pope’s fancy duds, are there any bets out there to be had?
Rudolph

Hey Rudolph,
Yes, nothing says Christmas quote like wagering on whether Pope Benny will be forced to give up his Gucci sunglasses and red Prada Loafers.

Gotta admit, Jimmy is not much of a church-goer. In fact, when the new pope was named/crowned/whatevered, I thought it was a bizarre choice.

I knew there was controversy surrounding it, but I misheard the name Joseph Ratzinger and believed Catholics the world over had chosen John Ratzenberger, who of course played Cliff Claven on Cheers.

All I know is that Pope Benny showed up at some religious events in Rome alternatively sporting a groovy red, velvet cape and fancy fur-lined cap.

And those red shoes, quite snazzy and quite the opposite of his minimalist predecessor John Paul II, who preached against materialism and excess. No mass appeal bets out there that I know of, but I will look.

Jimmy

JimmyD,
We often have office pools on movie or music award show results. We plan to have one for the upcoming election. Any ideas on how to run one? Will Stephen Harper be our next PM?
Polly Ticks

Polly,

Not sure of the value of including this in a fantasy column, but politics is often a fantasy-like charade, so what the hell. And since Jimmy is hardly an expert on the topic, his opinion must be taken with a football-sized grain of salt.

Still, Jimmy has taken an interest in learning about the leaders and recently informed a colleague that Paul Martin is pretty much useless in his current role, because the guy has only two points at even strength all season.

When informed by the colleague that Paul Martin is NOT the same Paul Martin who mans the blueline for the New Jersey Devils, Jimmy quickly covered his tracks by stating he was speaking metaphorically.

Of course, Paul Martin’s woes at even strength with the Devils were akin to the prime minister’s woes within a minority government. When both get to the man advantage (power play = majority government), then both are more productive.
Whew, next topic please.

To answer your question, you can place bets galore on the outcome of the Jan. 23 general vote.

For example, if you visit Jimmy’s friends at PinnacleSports.com, Mr. Martin’s Liberals are -320 favourites to win more seats than Mr. Harper’s Reformers/Alliancers/Conservatives/Whatevers, who are +290 underdogs.

For the uninitiated, this means you would need to wager $32 to win $10 on the Liberals, but you could wager $10 on the Conservatives and win $29 if they win more seats.

There is also betting on the over/under. The number for Liberal seats is set at 121.5 and 106.5 for the Conservatives. Those dudes in Quebec are set at 57.5, while Jack Layton’s NDP total is set at 22.5.

Do you prefer betting head-to-head like in NASCAR wagering? How about betting Belinda Stronach vs. Lois Brown in Newmarket-Aurora? Stronach, the former leadership hopeful and former Pete MacKay flame, is -460 to win that seat.

Svend Robinson is back and threw his hat in the ring (or was that ‘threw the ring inside his hat’?) for the New Democrats in Vancouver Centre.

You remember Svend’s little sticky-finger problem, for which he received plenty of counseling and 100 hours of community service? Well, he’s favoured to swipe this riding from the Libs, who have owned the riding since 1993. Mr. Robinson is favoured at -154.

And Mr. Layton appears a lock to win his seat, so you get to wager on the size of his victory. You can wager on whether he will clobber his nearest rival by more or less than 6,000 votes.

Sorry you asked?

Jimmy D

Boston Pizza Pick ‘Em Update

If you had a perfect Christmas season, then you know how Joe MacEachern felt watching his football picks last weekend. The Halifax man ran the board with a perfect 16-0 and won the Boston Pizza prize for the week.

We are down to the last few weeks, so make sure you get in on the action.
Game sheets, leader boards, matchup reports and more at www.JimmyDSports.com

Jimmy D