By JIMMY D / Fantasy baseball | Jimmy's archive

He wasn’t talking about playing goalie when he spoke his famed “stupid is, as stupid does” line in the Hollywood classic.

But Forrest Gump’s words may apply equally to the wisdom of standing in front of slapshots and getting creamed into the crossbar by Glenn Anderson wannabes. I know the logic has always escaped Jimmy.

And Jimmy’s line of thinking is backstopped by another famous Gump. Lorne “Gump” Worsley, the Hall of Fame netminder who won two Vezinas and four Cups with the Habs in the 1960s, once said “Being a goaltender is not a job that would interest any normal, straight-thinking human.”

He also opined that “The only job worse is a javelin catcher at a track-and-field meet” and that the team that gave him the most trouble was the Rangers – that’s when he was playing for lousy Ranger teams in the 1950s.

Where was I going with this? Oh yeah.

Poolies trying to pick goalies this year have been equally bankrupt in the intelligence department, which harks back to another Forrest Gump quip.
Instead of “Life is like a box chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get,” how about “Life is like trying to draft a reliable starting goalie, you never know what you’re gonna get.”

Injuries and incompetence have sunk many a goalie and many a pool roster, most notably Jose Theodore, who has been a fantasy disaster.

First, there’s that Hardy Aastrom-ish 3.46 GAA. Then there was a slip outside his home that resulted in a broken heel and eight weeks on the DL.

Before that, he was tagged by the steroid police, albeit only for using Propecia, which can be a steroid masking agent. It also happens to be a hair-growth prescription, for which Jose apparently credits the sheen on his lovely, flowing locks.

Oh and don’t forget hanging around with some Hells Angels a few summers ago and getting his photo in the Montreal papers.

Damn, I digressed again.

The point Jimmy is struggling to make is that you almost need a crystal ball to predict a replacement and if you look into one for the second half of the season, you see a Cristobal. As in Hab backup Huet.

He seemed like a wasted pick at your September entry draft. Theodore was entrenched as No. 1, young Yann Danis was the preferred choice as a backup and Huet was known as the NHL’s best – and only - player from France.

But in a five-game streak before the Olympics, Huet had two shutouts among three victories and lost twice in OT. He is safe bet to log lots of time and, if the Habs are finally turning the corner, perhaps lots of fantasy value as well.

Jugger–not
I missed last week’s column while recovering from some nastiness, but you’ll never believe what I planned to write. I predicted that Dominik Hasek would get hurt, one day after using borrowed gear to practice (his luggage was late arriving, so he bummed some skates and pads) and that Switzerland would be the dominant team in the tournament!

OK, so it wasn’t quite like that.

Canada was supposed to skate roughshod over the competition in Turin, but so far, the Pat Quinn-coached Canucks bear a striking and nauseating resemblance to the Pat Quinn-coached Maple Leafs – individual offensive rushes, costly mistakes and just a marginal interest in defence.

Watch these games with a critical eye, especially when your fantasy players are involved. In general, Jimmy predicts good production from these players in the first two games or so and then a drop-off as jetlag and general fatigue catches up with them for a week or so.

Jimmie wins, one year late
Also missing from my nonexistent column of last week was my set-up for the Daytona 500 and start of NASCAR season. Last season, I pegged Jimmie Johnson to win, but Jeff Gordon took the checkered flag.

On Sunday, Johnson won at Daytona amid grumbling and controversy after his crew chief was suspended for illegally tinkering with the No. 48 Chevrolet.
The circuit moves to California Speedway next Sunday for the Auto Club 500, where Johnson finished second last year, sandwiched between the Fords of winner Greg Biffle and third-place finisher Kurt Busch.

If you are in a NASCAR pool, there is nice little head-to-head driver database at SportsBettingStats.com that can help with historical research.

Next week, we take our first serious look at the upcoming baseball season, one that may or may not involve Roger Clemens and one that Barry Bonds guarantees will be his last – homer record or no homer record.

In the meantime, get busy and get lucky and get cheering for that Canadian hockey team.

Jimmy D