By JIMMY D / Fantasy Sports

Jimmy needs to get his eyes checked.

Something’s not quite right with his vision lately and it’s affecting how he sees things in the current, past and future.

Take Sunday. He benched Vince Young in the head-to-head football league, figuring Jon Kitna and the Lions would go wild on the Arizona defense. Wrong. Kitna was awful and Young was excellent in leading the Titan upset of the now Donovan McNabb-less Eagles.

Later Sunday, we benched Andres Nocioni, the Chicago Bull forward we plucked off waivers two weeks ago. After two terrible games, he deserved to ride the pine. That’s the way Jimmy saw it, anyway.

Well, 30 points, six treys, seven boards and two steals later in a spectacular losing effort, Jimmy’s current vision is way off.

His foresight hasn’t been much better. He grabbed Boris Diaw off waivers and expected the Phoenix Sun forward/center to help Jimmy’s hoops squad. Wrong again.

Antonio Bryant off waivers fort he 49ers? Wrong.

Hang onto Chad Kilger hoping to improve his trade value? Wrong.

While Jimmy was mired in his little pity party, he started looking into the recent past for a ray of light and hope. Hindsight is 20-20, surely there is something uplifting there.

Hmmm. Trade Mark Recchi early in case he vacuums up minus like he did last year. Don’t wait to see if he clicks with Evgeni Malkin or wins a spot alongside Sid Crosby. Wrong.

Select Ronnie Brown with the No. 5 pick in the NFL draft. Wrong.

Trade Khabibulin, Visnovsky, Draper and more for prospects. Wrong, wrong, wrong!

Like reality, fantasy brings good times to savour and bad times to curse. Sometimes it rips your guts out, but you feel a compulsion to put yourself through the torture anyway.

That Jason Spezza and Charlie Stephens for German Titov and Chris Therien trade back in 1999 didn’t work out as well as planned. Jimmy didn’t win the title and watched then-15-year-old Spezza walk away from Jimmy’s keeper league squad.

It was the wrong thing to do.

Maybe Jimmy knew it at the time and did it anyway. Climbing the standings felt good for a while, but it was destined to fail.

Jimmy’s advice? Justify it and move on. Pretend it never even happened and try to get on with your team.

What’s your 20?

Speaking of 20-20, Jimmy marked 20 years of relationship bliss with Mrs. Jimmy this week. (Insert your own joke about trades that should have been made or things you’d like to do over here.)

If you watched the Jimmy cancer-charity shave job at www.JimmyDSports.com, you witnessed his evil companion in action and heard Jimmy drop 20 blurbs of dull razor-induced profanity.

Sorry for Soriano?

Hardly. You think 20-20 vision is good, how about 40-40? As in, 40 homers and 40 stolen bases.

Now that Alfonso Soriano has a whopping contract (eight years, $136 million), baseball poolies get to test their fantasy foresight by reviewing hindsight. The newest Cub put up gaudy numbers in Washington, but he did it in his free agency year.

So, will Soriano approach or top the 46-homer, 41-swipe, 41-double season he just had with the Nats? Or now that he has all those zeroes in his bank account, will we see more zeroes in the hits column, like other players who tailed off after earning the big payday?

Trust Jimmy on this one: things are not always the way them seem. But on paper, Soriano to Chicago looks like fantasy gold.

A short Wrigley homer porch, the wind blowing out, Aramis Ramirez and Derrek Lee hitting behind him in the order. Baseball season is only four and a half months away…

Call me the Brees

Last week, it was Carson Palmer throwing for nearly 500 yards and losing. This week, Drew Brees threw for 510 yards – the sixth-most in NFL history – and lost. Ironically, he lost to Palmer, whose 275 yards through the air was downright pedestrian by comparison.

This game had no impact on Jimmy’s losing week in his head-to-head league against the woeful Moose.

But Donovan McNabb’s torn ACL surely did. With McNabb down, Brian Westbrook and Donte’ Stallworth suffered and so did Jimmy’s fantasy production.

Having Donald Driver (the Pack was shut out) and Jeff Wilkins (the Rams were shut out) didn’t help either. And hey Philip Rivers! You are allowed to throw the ball to my man Antonio Gates, y’know! It doesn’t all have to go to that touchdown pig LT!

Stay busy, stay lucky and try to stay out of angry funks like poor Jimmy.

JPoole@Herald.ca

JimmyD