By JIMMY D / NBA coward league? You decide | Jimmy's archive

Branding baseball players as sissies compared with hockey players because of the injuries that sideline them is one thing.

Calling the NBA a coward league relative to the NHL is another. But here we go.

Jimmy taunted the Boys of Summer, noting that NHLers play with separated shoulders and broken ankles while pitchers get shut down with hangnails and blisters.

After the Phoenix Suns got the you-know-whatey end of the stick in league suspensions against the Spurs, Jimmy could bite his tongue no longer.

For the uninitiated, both of Phoenix’s centres – including stud muffin Amare Stoudemire – were suspended for the series-turning Game 5 after they had the temerity to rise from the bench when their star point guard was cheap-shotted.

Yes, little Canuck Steve Nash (who probably shouldn’t have been on the floor with 18 seconds left of a Game 4 win, but that’s another story) got cracked by Robert Horry and sent flying into the scorer’s table. All the Suns stood up on the bench in anger or curiosity, but none of them moved into the fray or took a swing at Horry (which was either a show of admirable restraint or tragic cowardice, but that is also another story).

But because they stood up and took a step toward the scene, both Stoudemire and backup centre Boris Diaw were suspended. The league basically admitted it wasn’t fair and that Phoenix got screwed by it, but that is the rule.

So San Antonio started the fracas, took advantage of the cowardly rule, won Game 5 and Game 6 and are now ahead of Utah in the West final.

The league says it needs these strict rules to eliminate brawls. Well, the only ‘brawling’ Jimmy has ever witnessed on an NBA court has looked more like grannies swinging purses than men exchanging punches (yes, another story).

You’ve heard of robberies referred to as ‘smash-and-grabs’? Well, NBA fights are ‘slap-and-scoots’ – sneak up, slap someone and scoot for cover.

What the league needs is not ridiculous rules that penalize players for standing up for teammates – or even being curious to see if they are alright after getting body-slammed – but the threat of a good solid punch in the yap to discourage someone from doing it in the first place.

Robert Horry would never have done that if Donald Brashear or Derek Boogaard was on the court as a reminder of what might happen if liberties were taken. Maybe Brashear would get suspended for exacting that revenge.

But it would Brashear and Horry suspended, not two dudes on the bench who didn’t do anything. And maybe that series would have played out differently, with Horry nursing some broken teeth and Phoenix able to compete better in Game 5.
People in the USA mock the NHL for its antiquated approach to violence and its endorsement of fighting. They love to show highlights of dirty hits and the rare brawl on sports channels.

But there has been nothing in recent memory quite so pathetic as the meek and mild reaction by the Suns to their twirpy leader getting squashed. And then watching NBA brass squirm foolishly and pathetically trying to explain why players got suspended for not sticking up for their teammate. And for Game 5 of the playoffs. Nice league.

What would that verdict teach Jimmy D? Next time my teammate gets smacked around, the culprit should be fairly confronted and then punched squarely in the kisser. Repeat as necessary.

Take your three-game suspension for the punch and let the rest of the league know that they will be held accountable for their actions. Not by the league, but by their teammates.

And no, Jimmy is not endorsing playground fighting or domestic violence, rather the proper method for grown men, professional athletes, to be held accountable for sneaky or dirty tactics.

It seemed a well-orchestrated move by the Spurs to use the league’s stupidity to gain an edge in the series.

Two Sens Worth (of respect)

OK, Jimmy figured these were the same breed of Senators who would find a way to lose. He figured the Sabres could break through and make the final after injuries derailed them last year.

But a buzzsaw penalty kill and opportunistic scoring by the big line of Daniel Alfredsson, Jason (I drafted you when you were 13, punk) Spezza and Dany Heatley (who all scored in the 3-2 Game 5 clincher) have the Sens in the final. They are still speedy, but are solider on the blueline and have a bit more snarl.

Now they get a chance to win their first Cup in 80 years (the former incarnation won in 1927), presumably against Anaheim, since they were Jimmy’s choice way back when to win it all.

It won’t be a TV ratings blockbuster in the USA, much like the Edmonton/Raleigh final of last season failed to garner more viewers than geriatric beach volleyball or Under 12 girls’ championship bowling.

Wright on the money

Jimmy tormented David Wright a few weeks back as the Mets 3B was mired in a slump dating back to last September. But those who didn’t panic are being rewarded by his resurgence.

He has five multi-hit games in his past eight, homered three times on the weekend and pushed his average up to the .290 range (check this). He has also quietly ripped off nine bags, which is a nice bonus in any format.

Credit where it is due.

Stay busy, stay lucky and stay on the bench and look the other way if your NBA teammate gets whacked.

Jimmy D