By JIMMY D / Lastings make impressions for Jimmy D | Jimmy's archive

Clinical. Dispassionate. Pragmatic. Impartial. Disloyal.

These are the traits that the successful fantasy sports guru must have in abundance. Most everyone has the sports knowledge and time to devote to the chosen craft, but being able to pick again your favourite team – or worse to draft a player you hate – separates the real men from the fantasy boys.

It is with this mantra in mind that Jimmy selected Hiroki Kuroda last week as part of his desperate last gasp to catch the frontrunners in his fantasy baseball league. The Dodger RHP has been rolling of late and Jimmy needed K’s and lowered WHIP.

Presto, Kuroda provided it with a stellar outing, going seven innings with just two hits and seven Ks. And he did it against Jimmy’s Phillies and his other recently reclaimed starter Brett Myers. Picking up a player midweek and hoping he’ll mow down your favourite team, for which you are otherwise cheering madly, is a true sign of FSFD (Fantasy Sports Fan Dysfunctionality).

Contrast that clinical pragmatism (aka fantasy tramp) with this nugget of Jimmy waiver-wire mining skill. With Carl Crawford toasted for the season (and what a lame season it was), it was time to grab an outfielder with some pop and speed off waivers.

There were many decent ones out there (Carlos Gomez in Minnesota, Rick Ankiel in St. Louis, Fred Lewis in San Francisco). But Jimmy took a flier, knowing he needs to catch lightning in a bottle and hoped he might find it in Washington.

Jimmy was always fascinated that a mother out there would name her child Lastings. The fact he shares a birthday with Jimmy D seemed all the more reason to pluck Lastings Milledge – last year a member of the hated Mets – off waivers. He was good, but not great, last week.

So with six weeks to go, the Jimmyville Jackals have climbed from sixth to third. He is still way behind the Canseco PartyCrashers, whose owner have long boasted being atop the standings and uncatchable. He might be right. But Jimmy made similar ‘immune from losing’ boasts last season and got hunted down in the final week.

Never say never. Keep trying to make that Lastings impression on your team and the league.

NHL pre-camp rumour-mongering

Mats Sundin is a New York Ranger! That’s what you were led to believe late last week with sourced reports from the Big Apple stating Mats was determined to become a Ranger. Only problem with it (the same problem with many sourced reports) was that it wasn’t true.

Seems the Rangers have $2 million to spend under the salary cap, considerably less than Vancouver’s $10 million. The report also indicated Sundin won’t play in Canada for either Montreal, Vancouver or Toronto. And the rumour also had the Flyers aggressively trying to land him.

Seems way too much cash to leave on the table for Sundin. Montreal would be a good fit, but their skilled-but-soft side showed in the playoffs. Philly seems a better fit, with plenty of sandpiper on a roster that could use a legit top center who can win faceoffs and chip in 70 points.

Something afoot in Pitt

Always wondered about these decisions to have major surgery in the weeks before training camp instead of back in April-May when the season is over. Ryan Whitney, the fantasy gem of the Pittsburgh blueline, had surgery last week to repair a chronic foot condition.

He may be out of the lineup until January, bad news for keeper league GMs who own him. But here’s the thing with the word ‘chronic.’ It means continual, ongoing – why wait until mid-August to treat the chronic condition?

Oh well, Jimmy doesn’t own him, so no worries. Although we will now scan the Penguin depth chart to assess who will benefit most from his absence.

Defining, maligning moment for McCabe

So Bryan McCabe will only waive his no-trade clause after he gets his $2-million signing bonus. It wasn’t misplaced devotion and loyalty to the favourite team of his boyhood, rather misplaced devotion and loyalty to the Yankee greenback.

Jimmy never preaches leaving cash on the table, but he does preach being honest about it. Don’t make excuses and tell lies. Tell it like it is. ‘The Leafs owe me $2 million. I ain’t leaving til I get it.”

Then everyone knows where you stand. Everyone knows your motivation. And everyone can question whether they want you on their roster or not. Jimmy never liked McCabe, but it stemmed from his lack of defensive ability, not from his lack of scruples.

Freelance writer Jimmy D is a fantasy sports expert living in Halifax and can be reached at jpoole@herald.ca His column appears every Tuesday, check out his archive of more than 200 columns at www.JimmyDSports.com .

Jimmy D
jpoole@herald.ca