By JIMMY D / Twas the night before Christmas.... | Jimmy's archive

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE draft day, and all through the pool.
Not a creature was stirring, except one silly fool.

Draft rankings were stacked by the laptop with care.
In hopes that some sleeper picks were buried in there.

Most poolies were nestled, all snug in their beds.
As visions of first-round picks, danced in their heads.

But Jimmy in his jammies, and commissioner cap,
Was dreaming he just won and everyone clapped.

When up on the screen, there appeared a bright flash.
He sprang from his bed, to see what caused the crash.

Away to his laptop, he jumped like a bean.
Picked up his mouse, and clicked on the screen.

The link in the middle of the new-loaded page.
Offered help and pool wisdom, from a source kind and sage.

When what to his wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature man full of pool Christmas cheer.

With a busy little website, and stats there to click,
He knew in a moment it must be St. Draft Pick.

More rapid than fastballs, his pool tips they came.
As he whistled and boasted and called out by name.

Now Brady, now Crosby, now LeBron and Westbrook.
On Iggy, on Hanley, on A-Rod and Datsyuk.

To the top of the standings, to the top of the pool!
Now trade away, draft away, this is your year to rule!

As lists that before the wild draft day do fly,
We need help with research, so pool mags we buy.

So in through the web page, the old pool master flew.
With a listing for middle rounds and some sleeper picks too.

And then in a twinkling, he saw on the screen.
Links to his secret stuff, ne’er before seen.

As Jim picked up his pen, to start rating by round.
In came the player names, what a fine, joyous sound!

“Don't draft young JaMarcus, I fear he will bust.
And avoiding all Dolphins is really a must.”

“Don’t take Alexander, he’s old and might screw us.
It’s better to stick by our friend Jamal Lewis.”

A bundle of pool mags, he had slung across his back,
Jim knew that his draft day was on the right track.

His eyes, how they twinkled, his dimples how merry!
His attitude, saucier than even Don Cherry.

His round, cyber face was drawn up like a bow.
But he smirked when Jim typed “I just benched T. Romo.”

“Don’t blame you; how can he keep his mind straight?
With that hot Simpson girl itching to go on a date.”

“If he doesn’t shape up, the ‘Boys soon will be golfin’,
And to think that the Tuna might soon be a Dolphin!”

He was a jolly web elf, ‘bout the size of 10 bytes.
And he already had John Tavares locked in his sights.

A wink of his eye and a long prospect list,
Soon gave Jim to know there was nothing he missed.

He spoke many words, then exclaimed with a snort.
“Here’s cheat notes for bowl time and the Red Line Report.”

But he wouldn’t disclose the football keeper he was addin’,
Though Jim had an idea that it was Darren McFadden.

And laying a finger on a banner on site,
And giving a nod, clicked “Turn out the light.”

But Jim heard him exclaim, as he left cyberspace,
“Read Jimmy’s column, and you’ll stay in first place.”

Merry holidays from Jimmy D’s gang to yours. Have a safe holiday and we’ll be back next Tuesday with the World Junior Hockey Championships update for you puckheads.

In the meantime, stay busy and stay lucky.

Jimmy D