By JIMMY D / Fantasy Sports | Jimmy's archive

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE draft day, and all through the pool.
Not a creature was stirring, ‘cept for one silly fool.

Player rankings were stacked by the laptop with care.
In hopes that some winners were included in there.

Most poolies were nestled, all snug in their beds.
As visions of first-round picks, danced in their heads.

But Jimmy in his jammies, and commissioner cap.
Was dreaming of an NHL minus the trap.

When up on the screen, there appeared a bright flash.
I sprang from my bed, to see what caused the crash.

Away to my laptop, I jumped like a bean.
Picked up my mouse, and clicked on the screen.

The link in the middle of the new-loaded page.
Offered help and pool wisdom, from a source kind and sage.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature man full of pool Christmas cheer.

With a busy little website, and stats there to click,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Draft Pick.

More rapid than fastballs, his pool tips they came.
As he whistled and boasted and called out by name.

Now A-Rod, now Alfy, now LT, LeBron.
On Heatley, on Pujols, on Carlos Beltran.

To the top of the standings, to the top of the pool!
Now trade away, draft away, this is your year to rule!

As lists that before the wild draft day do fly,
We need help with research, so pool mags we buy.

So in through cyberspace, the old pool master flew.
With a listing for early rounds and some sleeper picks too.

And then in a twinkling, I saw on the screen.
Links to his secret stuff, ne’er before seen.

As I picked up my pen, to start rating by round.
In came the player names, upon which he'd expound.

Don't draft Todd Bertuzzi, the guy is a hothead.
Avoid Ricky Williams, who needs a pothead?

In hoops, don’t take Shaq, you really need guards.
In football, grab Tiki, for his all-purpose yards.

A bundle of pool mags he had slung across his back,
I knew that my draft day was on the right track.

His eyes, how they twinkled, his dimples how merry!
His attitude, saucier than even Don Cherry.

His round, cyber face was drawn up like a bow.
But he scowled when I typed “Should I dump Luongo?”

“53 saves? That’s not enough for your team?”
“Do you think you’d be better off, with Patrick Lalime?”

“Keep young Roberto, don’t be so wacky,
“Next year you can grab Antero Nittymaki.”

He was a jolly web elf, 'bout the size of a meg.
But he cringed when Mike Vick limped off holding his leg.

A wink of his eye and a long prospect list,
Soon gave me to know there was nothing he missed.

He spoke many words, then exclaimed with a snort.
“Here's cheat notes for baseball and the Red Line Report.”

But he wouldn't reveal a pick he was planning.
A late-round unearthing of the next Eli Manning.

And laying a finger on a banner on site,
And giving a nod, said, “Now turn out the light.”

But I heard him exclaim, as he left cyberspace,
“Read Jimmy’s column, and you’ll stay in first place.”

Merry holidays from Jimmy D’s gang to yours. Have a save holiday and we’ll be back next Tuesday with some college bowl and NFL playoff conjecture.

In the meantime, stay busy and stay lucky.
Jimmy D