By JIMMY D / Jimmy gets festive with his annual fantasy poem | Jimmy's archive

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE draft day, and all through the pool.
Not a creature was stirring, except one silly fool.

Draft rankings were stacked by the laptop with care.
In hopes that some first-round picks were buried in there.

Most poolies were nestled, all snug in their beds.
As visions of sleeper picks, danced in their heads.

But Jimmy in his jammies, and commissioner cap,
Was dreaming he’d win the big pool in a snap.

When up on the screen, there appeared a bright flash.
He sprang from his bed, to see what caused the crash.

Away to his laptop, he jumped like a bean.
Picked up his mouse, and clicked on the screen.

The link in the middle of the new-loaded page.
Offered help and pool wisdom, from a source kind and sage.

When what to his wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature man full of pool Christmas cheer.

With a busy little website, and stats there to click,
He knew in a moment it must be St. Draft Pick.

More rapid than fastballs, his pool tips they came.
As he whistled and boasted and called out by name.

Now Malkin, now CC, now Kane and Teixeira.
On Ovie, on Beasley, on Sid and Iwamura.

To the top of the standings, to the top of the pool!
Now trade away, draft away, this is your year to rule!

As lists that before the wild draft day do fly,
We need help with research, so pool mags we buy.

So in through the web page, the old pool master flew.
With a listing for middle rounds and some sleeper picks too.

And then in a twinkling, he saw on the screen.
Links to his secret stuff, ne’er before seen.

As Jim grabbed a pen, to start rating by round.
In came the player names, what a fine, joyous sound!

“Don’t draft young Matt Cassel, I don’t buy his act.
His ego will expand when he gets a new contract.”

“I still think young Malkin will get hurt or go slumping.
So have a Plan B to keep your pool team a-pumping.”

A bundle of pool mags, he had slung across his back,
Jim knew that his draft day was on the right track.

His eyes, how they twinkled, his dimples how merry!
His attitude, saucier than even Don Cherry.

His round, cyber face like a bow was drawn up.
But he smirked when Jim typed “Will Flyers win Cup?”

“Let’s not be greedy, young Jim, you had the Phillies,
A Flyer championship on top would be silly.”

“Draft Sharks like Marleau, Setoguchi, Big Joe,
San Jose wins it all, I predict it will be so!”

He was a jolly web elf, ‘bout the size of 10 bytes.
And he planned to watch World Juniors for the next seven nights.

A wink of his eye and a long prospect list,
Soon gave Jim to know there was nothing he missed.

He spoke many words, then exclaimed with a snort.
“Here’s cheat notes for bowl time and the Red Line Report.”

And he gave word of Sundin now becoming a Canuck.
Saying ‘Just show him some love and 10 million bucks.’

And laying a finger on a banner on site,
And giving a nod, clicked “Turn out the light.”

But Jim heard him exclaim, as he left cyberspace,
“Read Jimmy’s column, and you’ll stay in first place.”

Merry holidays from Jimmy D’s gang to yours. Have a safe holiday and we’ll be back next Tuesday with the World Junior Hockey Championships update for you puckheads.

In the meantime, stay busy and stay lucky.

Jimmy D
jpoole@herald.ca