By JIMMY D / Fantasy Sports | Jimmy's archive

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE draft day, and all through the pool.
Not a creature was stirring, except one silly fool.

Draft rankings were stacked by the laptop with care.
In hopes that some sleepers were included in there.

Most poolies were nestled, all snug in their beds.
As visions of No. 1 picks, danced in their heads.

But Jimmy in his jammies, and commissioner cap.
Was dreaming of an NHL minus the trap.

When up on the screen, there appeared a bright flash.
I sprang from my bed, to see what caused the crash.

Away to my laptop, I jumped like a bean.
Picked up my mouse, and clicked on the screen.

The link in the middle of the new-loaded page.
Offered help and pool wisdom, from a source kind and sage.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature man full of pool Christmas cheer.

With a busy little website, and stats there to click,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Draft Pick.

More rapid than fastballs, his pool tips they came.
As he whistled and boasted and called out by name.

Now LT, now Hossa, and now Matsuzaka.
On Pujols, on Howard, The Homerun Wacka.

To the top of the standings, to the top of the pool!
Now trade away, draft away, this is your year to rule!

As lists that before the wild draft day do fly,
We need help with research, so pool mags we buy.

In through the web portal, the old pool master flew.
With a listing for middle rounds and some sleeper picks too.

And then in a twinkling, I saw on the screen.
Links to his secret stuff, ne’er before seen.

As I picked up my pen, to start rating by round.
In came the player names, what a fine, joyous sound!

Don't draft young Rex Grossman, the guy is a bust.
And avoiding all Maple Leafs is really a must.

In hoops, don’t take T-Mac, his poor back is toast.
In pucks, that kid Crosby is like Wayne Gretzky’s ghost.

A bundle of pool mags, he had slung across his back,
I knew that my draft day was on the right track.

His eyes, how they twinkled, his dimples how merry!
His attitude, saucier than even Don Cherry.

His round, cyber face was drawn up like a bow.
But he scowled when I messaged “I hate Soriano!”

“Baseball’s top fantasy stud? You don’t want on your team?”
“He homers and doubles, steals bags like a machine.”

“He strikes out too much, that’s a point oh so niggly,
“But think of the numbers that he’ll put up in Wrigley!”

He was a jolly web elf, 'bout the size of 10 bytes.
And he already had young Greg Oden in his sights.

A wink of his eye and a long prospect list,
Soon gave me to know there was nothing he missed.

He spoke many words, then exclaimed with a snort.
“Here's cheat notes for bowl time and the Red Line Report.”

But he wouldn't disclose the football keeper he was addin’,
Though I had the idea that it was Darren McFadden.

And laying a finger on a banner on site,
And giving a nod, clicked “Turn out the light.”

But I heard him exclaim, as he left cyberspace,
“Read Jimmy’s column, and you’ll stay in first place.”

Merry holidays from Jimmy D’s gang to yours. Have a safe holiday and we’ll be back next Tuesday with the college bowl situation and a few contests you can win with Jimmy’s help.

In the meantime, stay busy and stay lucky.

Jimmy D