By JIMMY D / Book of Ricky Williams and Life of Riley | Jimmy's archive

When does it make sense to insert Riley Cote, the Flyer winger semi-goon with a single assist in 15 games, in your NHL fantasy lineup for the weekend and ditch Mike Knuble to the waiver wire?

Maybe never. Probably never.

But Jimmy did it this weekend in a desperate attempt to steal the penalty minute category in his head-to-head league.

And while it didn’t work, it is logical for poolies in formats like head-to-head and weekly result leagues to try it, whether it’s for penalty minutes in hockey or steals or blocks in hoops.

After Jimmy jr. (our new assistant pool GM) concluded his father’s fantasy Jackal roster was sitting in the toilet in every goalie category and sitting pretty in several offensive categories, he focused on penalty minutes where he trailed by about 12 heading into the weekend.

Glancing the Saturday schedule, he noticed the Devils/Flyers game, hated rivals where Marty Brodeur was fated to get his 500th career win at the hands of Philly. With David Clarkson and Aaron Asham – known agitators and willing knuckle chuckers – both in the Devil lineup and with Ben Eager not playing for Philly, it made sense to predict a scrap or two for the rambunctious Cote.

And when the game got out of hand for the Devils (they won 6-2), you would have expected a bit of extra-curricular activity. The result? Zero penalty minutes and a limp response from the Flyers to getting whacked at home.

Oh well. It was worth a try and will be tried again, maybe not with Cote, but you get the picture. Managing your fantasy roster is about playing angles and hunches in an effort to wring every fantasy point possible.

With his 7-3 fantasy loss last week, the Jackals prove their desperation in net by plucking Vesa Toskala off waivers. Yup, Toronto’s sometimes starter is now being counted upon to earn fantasy points.

Somewhere, Harold Ballard is giggling at Jimmy.

And somewhere far off in the distance, a dog barked….

The Book of Ricky Williams

If you were playing fantasy football in 2004 - and especially if you were in a keeper league with a certain Ricky Williams on your protected list – you recall him sabotaging Miami’s season by quitting a day before training camp.

Seemed that 2002’s NFL rushing camp was retiring and, boy, were people mad at him. Turns out the stud tailback was clinically shy and suffered from anxiety disorders so bad that quitting football was ecstasy. "I’m finally free. I can’t remember ever being this happy," he said at the time.

He learned yoga, took some university classes, had a cup of coffee with the Argos in the CFL and after his umpteenth suspension for smoking pot, is back in Miami. What better spot for him than the 0-10 Dolphins – no expectations, no stress. He was asked why it would be different this time.

"I’m not necessarily looking for it to end on a high note," he told reporters last week. "It’s just going to help me get to where I want to be. I want to get on with my life. I want to go back to school and pursue a profession outside of football. Playing football is the best way for me to get there."

Hmmm, doesn’t exactly sound like a guy coming back because his competitive fires are burning out of control. Sounds to Jimmy like a guy coming back for a bit of dough, stay out of trouble and end the final chapters of the Book of Ricky on a happier note.

You know, the happily ever after of Ricky Williams.

Jimmy saw Ricky play in 2005 in Miami. The hulk who used to hit the hole and destroy linebackers and terrify safeties and corners was gone and a thinner version wore No. 34. He still hit the holes at the line, but he was knocked backwards time and again. It was kinda sad to watch. Jimmy was pulling for Ricky.

And he will pull for him again.

But he won’t get suckered into plucking him off the waiver wire (he is eligible to play against Pittsburgh this week). Not even with Ronnie Brown gone for the year and with Jesse Chatman the lone back ahead of him on the depth chart.
Jimmy has read all the previous chapters of the Book of Ricky.

He knows how this final one is going to play out.

Stay busy, stay lucky, make sure you remember to set your NFL fantasy rosters on Thursday.

Jimmy D