By JIMMY D / Invoking Dickens as fantasy football falters | Jimmy's archive

The ‘D’ in Jimmy D doesn’t stand for Dickens, but the opening excerpt from Tale of Two Cities seemed depressingly appropriate after Week 3 of the fantasy football season.

‘It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way.’

Ah, all that wisdom and hope that went into Jimmy’s Week 3 analysis and picks. Ah, all that foolishness, darkness and despair that ran as rampant as Ronnie Brown through the New England defence.

Yes, Patriot fans suffered (they deserve it) through a humiliating home drubbing at the hands of the lowly Miami Dolphins. But Jimmy – while reveling in the Patriot misfortune – endured his own humiliation and failed to complete a similar epic upset.

You see, the Patriots were riding a 21-game regular-season winning streak as the Fish swam into town. Jimmy D’s main fantasy football squad - the Jimmyville Gremlins – were similar underdogs facing a fantasy foe on a similar win streak (19 consecutive head-to-head victories dating back to the end of 2006 for the inERINables).

Readers will recall that Brian Westbrook and Willie Parker are Jimmy’s starting running backs. Readers will recall watching those players struggle through a defensive battle and a 15-6 Eagle win Sunday afternoon. (Westbrook limped off the field and did not return, although MRIs were negative Monday for any serious injury).

Readers can also guess at how Jimmy did in Week 3, given the fact the dazzling Westbrook left injured after 12 rushing yards and the fact the hard-running Parker managed a paltry 20 yards on 13 carries.

Mix in the pathetic two-catch performance by Lion WR Roy Williams and the single catch by alleged 49er stud Bryant Johnson, stir generously with the two catches by Raven TE Todd Heap and you have a recipe for cooking up an ugly loss.

Has it not been for a stellar 19-point week by the Tennessee defence (three picks, three sacks and a TD) and the uncharacteristically solid performance by Redskin pivot Jason Campbell (21 fantasy points), it might have set records for fantasy futility.

Bear market for Griese

Brian Griese got kicked around pretty good during his time in Chicago. Anytime you are the backup to Rex Grossman, it’s a pretty humbling experience.

So when he got the chance to start for Tampa Bay Sunday at Soldier Field – and against the young QB Chicago kept instead of him – he fired away. How a QB can misfire on 29 passes and still win a game is under review by mathematicians everywhere, but when you throw 67 times, you still connect on 38.

The result was a 27-24 win by Tampa and some attention from fantasy owners desperate for a Week 4 bye-week backup. Griese will start until Jeff Garcia returns, keep an eye on both situations.

Great (Julius) Caesar!

Parked firmly on Jimmy’s bench in Week 3 was Seattle tailback Julius Jones. After a pathetic first week, the former Cowboy has erupted the past two weeks with 267 yards and a pair of scores. Mind you, this was against the 49er and Ram defences, tainting the accomplishment but indicating his worthiness for starting.

Jimmy has offered Willie Parker around his league in trade, but after his performance against Philly, his value is on the dark, despair side referenced by Dickens.

What Brown Can Do For You

It’s the FedEx slogan, but it applied to Dolphin Ronnie Brown Sunday. The inconsistent tailback delivered four rushing scores and threw for another (LaDainian Tomlinson-style) at Foxboro against the Pats. To think that only 25 per cent of Yahoo! leagues had him active in Week 3…

Fantasy hockey puck drops

Coming next week, fantasy hockey up the wazoo and some cool new hockey contests on the go at Jimmy’s favourite fantasy tournament site, FanJack.com. Stay busy and stay lucky.

Jimmy D

jpoole@herald.ca